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This is the Technical Difficulties. We are playing Citation Needed.
I have an almost-randomly selected article
from everybody's favourite reliable source of knowledge, Wikipedia,
and these folks can't see it.
Every fact they get right gets them a point and a ding [DING]
and there's a special prize for particularly good answers which is...
Rather!
And today we are talking about... Bossche bol.
The what?
Can you use that in a sentence for us? [Laughter]
— Football! — No.
Are we talking a sport, though?
Not even close.
Is it a type of ball?
— Well. — Is it roughly spherical?
Yeah. It is roughly spherical.
— Okay. — Is it a body part?
No.
Is it a seed, or fruit, or...
— It's a foodstuff. I'll give you a point for that. [DING] — Ahh!
A Bossche bol is a foodstuff then.
Yes.
Is it deep-fried?
Er, no.
What?!
It's not from these shores, then.
Is it made of pieces of other things?
It's a foodstuff though, isn't it?
Every foodstuff, let's be honest,
unless you are eating pure sodium...
Yum yum yum!
...is pretty much made up of pieces of other things.
Yes.
You get, like, a fishcake, or you get fish.
Okay! Er, no, it's made. It's made of other ingredients.
Is it of Africa?
It's Dutch!
— Dutch? — Dutch.
— Booshe-ball? — It's Dutch and... Bossche bol.
Bossche bol?
Bossche bol. The Dutch people I know are going to kill me for...
Is it pickled?
No, not even close. Completely the other end of the spectrum. In fact...
So it's raw!
If you had a spectrum — no, in terms of taste — from pickle...
— Oh. — ...and then took it all the way the other way...
— All right, it's something sweet then. — Yes.
Right. It's a treat — a cake or something like that?
Yeah.
[Laughter]
And it's roughly spherical.
Truffles.
And I don't know why I'm doing that.
Is it a sweet, cake-based Edam?
— You know what... — What, gjetost?
That's actually close enough I'm going to give you it.
[DING] It's basically an oversized profiterole.
— Ha! ...A what-sized? — Yum yum yum!
Oversized profiterole.
How oversized?
The size of your head!
You can fit your head in it and lick all the cream out of the inside
before you eat its remains.
Like a helmet.
Was that the rudiments of the Dutch space programme?
With a giant profiterole round the head of a man
in the lower atmosphere?
'Okay, the cream is keeping me fed.'
'I have eaten it all. I am too fat for the parachute.'
I'm glad we've finally washed up on
the nationality we're going to insult for this show.
No, but think about it. You could have the chocolate slice
as like a visor, couldn't you?
Because the further up the atmosphere you go,
the colder it's going to get, and the more solid she's gonna be.
All right, it won't survive reentry very well if it's chocolate, but you know.
You've got the cream for insulation.
Yeah!
...Not a phrase I've said before.
Again, as it gets — yeah!
They had a point, these Dutch people
with their profiterole space programme.
You could fit them inside a giant Twinkie,
or Barny Bear or something as the space suit.
So Bossche Bol was the name of their first space capsule?
...yes. Yes. [Laughter]
Bossche Bol One!
Yes. Absolutely. In the same way
that the first French spaceship was called 'Profiterole'.
— Was it? — No.
— I did not know that. — It won't be called Profiterole, you nob-head, would it?
— It was called 'Baguette'. — It was called 'Baguette'.
Profiteroles are small, duh!
We're talking one that's as big as a space helmet here!
We're actually talking about one that's about five inches.
A little bit bigger than my button here.
There is a bit of culinary advice in this article...
What's the best way to avoid spillage when eating a Bossche bol?
Sit on it.
Eat it whole.
Ride it.
Puncture it, suck out its delicious innards,
and then consume the outside.
Yes.
Squeeze it like a spot.
[Prolonged squirting noises]
No?
No, unsurprisingly.
With a spoon.
The best way to avoid spillage from your Bossche bol,
is the question you're asking us.
Yes. Yes, I am.
Is there a special receptacle for this?
The Bossce bol sphere, for instance.
I don't like Bossche bol spillage.
— No, who does? — I'm not a fan.
Vanish won't touch it, will it?
You turn it upside down.
Well, actually it says 'The best way to avoid spillage
is by eating the pastry upside down',
and I don't know whether that means the pastry...
— Or the person? — ...or the person.
That's my kind of dessert.
The kind that you have to be strapped down for.
That's the taste sensation I'm looking for.
All right, we've got a three-person slingshot
and a Bossche bol. Here we go!
Yes!
What would it feel like to be hit
by a five-inch-wide profiterole at speed?
Well, based on the juggling ball I got hit with,
it'll be bloody painful.
I got hit by a water balloon in the face. That was painful.
Oh yeah! You ended up with a real big welt, didn't you?
I've still got the animated GIF of that somewhere.
I'll see if I can cut and paste it in about here.
I'm thinking, what would the cream do?
Would it go... would it be like...
Not evaporate, but the action when it melts and...
I like to think that it would turn non-Newtonian.
It'd go solid and you're just knocked unconscious.
I can believe that. That water balloon hurt.
Oh, Christ! If you did it with a custard-filled one, it would do that!
— Ohhh! [Laughter]
— Ohhh! — It would, wouldn't it?
Because custard *is* non-Newtonian!
Only if it's not sugary.
If you put sugar in, you actually turn it into just regular...
— Right. — But it would still be enough to...
Hang on, we've discovered a new weapon, chaps!
If you could put that in the barrel of a Navy frigate...
'Cause I've seen that episode of Dad's Army
where they fire onions at people,
and that looked like it hurt, so I...
Factually accurate ballistics!
Steel and depleted uranium —
custard-filled chocolate.
I'm not saying it's used for destruction,
I'm saying it's used for shock and awe.
Splat and awe, really, wouldn't it?
There is a bigger version of the Bossche bol, just to drag us back...
The Super Bossche Bol!
Well, you see, that's pretty close.
I don't actually want the Dutch word for it,
but if you could tell me what it's called when you translate it to English.
The Mega-Ball.
The Very Big Profiterole.
You know what, I'm going to give you both points. It's 'giant ball'.
[DING DING]
What I love is that in the 'See also' section of this page
is just 'List of pastries'.
Let's see how many we can guess.
Quickfire round! Name some pastries. Matt.
Errr... Danish pastry.
Point! [DING] Gary.
Cream horn.
— Oh good Lord. — Point! [DING]
Choux bun!
I tried to spell that 'shoe' there and it didn't work.
Also that!
I'll give you a point. It's under 'Éclair', but yes, point. [DING]
Éclair.
Point. [DING] [Laughter]
Viennese whirl.
Good Lord.
No, it's not on the list.
BULL****!
That's not pastry. That's a biscuit.
Ooh. You could have me on a technicality there.
I also like — in here we have:
'Cronut' has already made its way into Wikipedia.
[Groans]
Who eats one? I don't und—
I don't... yeah. What?
Is it a croissant and a doughnut?
It's a doughnut made of croissant pastry bread dough.
But isn't that just...
a croissant with a hole chopped out of the middle?
No, it's deep-fried instead of baked.
You know those Yum Yums they have in Greggs?
— Oh, it's a Yum Yum, is it? — It's one of them, yeah.
Only it's made with croissant dough.
So it's butterier and more layers and such.
And causes more flakiness down the front of a shirt of a morning.
The horror.
I've never thought, 'Ooh, I don't know
whether I want a croissant or a doughnut.'
— Someone did. — I want one or the other.
I don't get the whole American breakfast thing,
of having like, doughnuts —
something that sweet and that sugary, first thing.
You've eaten Ricicles.
Okay.
Oh man, Ricicles! With the little spaceman.
— Spaceman! — Captain Rik, yeah.
Good grief. Do they still make those?
— Yes. — Chris.
— Yes. — I don't think they do...
— No. — I've not seen Ricicles for a long time.
On the other hand, if we do find some...
— We're having them. — I'm having them tomorrow.
According to everyone's favourite unreliable source of knowledge,
yes, they still sell them.
— Yes! — Ahhh!
In the UK?
They don't put them in the variety packs any more, though.
That's all right. I could eat a whole box.
— In one sitting! — What, just by the fistful?
Out of the box!
Well, you remember the box of Coco Pops I brought
last time we did this. I ate them in two days.
I think a box of Ricicles in one sitting's on.
Fistful Of Ricicles.
— That's just a western movie! — For A Few Ricicles More.
The Good, The Bad and Captain Rik.
Yes! All these!
Just Coco the monkey, sat with a hat down over his eyes,
at the side, just throwing a knife up and down.
Are we saying Tony the Tiger's the sheriff?
There's an entire section of the Cronut article on 'Controversy'.
Can anyone tell me how much they were selling for?
Because the original Cronut is trademarked to one bakery.
They were selling them for five dollars.
How much were scalpers selling them for later in the day?
You can't —well, they're not going to last that long, are they?
Being a French-based bread product,
they'd have gone off within about an hour and gone stale.
As we previously established.
Yeah. So I'm going to say twenty dollars.
Twenty dollars? You know what...
Even though it's a terrible way of doing it,
I'm going to do Price Is Right rules here.
— Ohh! — So closest without going over.
Can we have the little yodelling man going up a hill here?
No. Twenty dollars?
Twenty dollars and one cent.
Nine.
Nine dollars?
One hundred dollars! [DING] You get the point.
Yes!
F*** off! For a bloody pastry?!
It was one of those things where
the public get a fixation on it, and it starts...
It's basically Bitcoin in pastry form.
You could almost get a flight to Paris!
Except it lasts longer.
ALL: Wahey!
Can anyone give me some of the alternate names
that people have called the Cronut, just to get around the...
Donant!
Fatty Wheel!
Flaky Death!
Fat Whirl!
Fat Whirl. No.
Dosant?
Dosant! Point. [DING]
Isn't that just close to selling a 'doesn't'?
Also on the list of pastries,
we have something called 'Nun's Puffs'.
Brannan! I feel this is your...
— Hellooo? — Please make a nun sequitur.
— [Groans] — Heyyy!
'Nun sequitur' — that took me like three seconds.
That was good.
Oh, don't monk around any more, then.
I've had that joke on a list for years
and that is the first time I've been able to use it!
You're lucky, because you were really nunchalant when you delivered it.
It's not the habit you want to get into.
[Laughter] Now...
Leave you wimpole-ing in a corner, if you keep doing that.
[Groans]
It's listed as 'nun's puffs'.
That is a euphemism. Can you tell me what they're actually called?
I read about this recently! It's...
Are they those little round buns
with icing and a cherry on top?
Er... not the cherry,
but they're basically kind of a light dessert pastry.
Are they the ones that have the name 'nun's farts'?
Point! [DING] And...
They are called 'nun's farts'... [Laughter]
...and they are just a ball of pastry
that is very, very light, with a cream filling in them.
So, profiteroles?
— ...but smaller. — Under another name, yes.
Sorry...
'Could I have a nun's fart, please?'
'Of course. Sister!'
'That'll be five pounds, please.'
And then you sell it on later for a hundred.
In a jar.
On that note, I think Matt, you got most points —
I mean, I'll be honest, I'm not counting.
I certainly didn't get any, so it wasn't me this time.
Matt, congratulations — you win a copy of the game
where you have to get executives of a disgraced bank
to jump through pipes and defeat Bowser.
Super Lehman Brothers.
It's all right! Enough time's passed for that one. We're fine.
Until next time... that's been Matt Gray!
Bye-bye!
That's been Gary.
...Brannan. I didn't say your name there.
What a nob-head, everybody(!)
We've been working together for what, how long now?
Up yours, nob-head.
CHRIS: That was Gary Brannan...
And that's Chris Joel.
Bye!
I've... Sod it!
Look at his face!
That was a good pastry-based episode there. I liked that.
Thanks for watching!
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