MATT: Social networks are broken.
With spam. Trolls. Memes. And hashtags.
TOM: It's time for something simpler.
We present Emojli, the emoji-only network.
MATT: There is no spam.
TOM: Because there isn't an emoji for spam.
There is one for aubergine.
We're not sure why, but you can use it.
MATT: No bloody forward-this-to-ten-people memes.
No stupid hashtags. The worst message you could possibly receive?
It's a pile of poo.
Now we know what you're thinking.
This is satire. No-one would actually make this thing.
TOM: It's not. And we have.
MATT: Emojli launches very soon.
Reserve your username now.
TOM: Your username has to be emoji.