This is my real-life emoji keyboard.
14 regular keyboards, all connected to this one laptop,
more than a thousand individually-placed stickers,
and a bit of special software so that every single one of these buttons
types a different character.
And every possible emoji is here, at least as I record this.
If you want smilies: right in front of you.
Animals and plants are over here, along with food.
Which I guess is kind of the same thing.
Transport is over here. Symbols and dingbats and sports and time, they're all over here.
And over on the right, we have the flags of all nations, and a few miscellaneous symbols.
So if you want to add a kissing face to your tweet? That is right here.
Crescent moon in your professional report? That is just here.
Cartoonish crescent moon in your less professional report? Not a problem, right next to it.
Black Santa? Got you covered.
Hit the Santa button, and then hit the Modifier Fitzpatrick Skin Type 6 button just there.
Boom. Black Santa. There you go.
It's got literally every emoji, even the ones that don't work on any phones or computers yet.
You want a levitating man in a business suit? This button here.
It doesn't work yet as I record this, but as soon as you view that tweet on iOS 9.1,
when it comes out?
There will be an emoji of a man, in a business suit, and he will be levitating.
You want to flip someone the bird? Right here.
You want to flip someone an emoji of an actual bird? Got half a dozen of them right here.
Penguins, pigeons, a baby chick in its egg or outside its egg, your choice.
Bikinis, kimonos, and aubergines, obviously.
If you want to make sure your message is over-18s only? Got it.
You want to ban dropping litter? This keyboard is for you.
Want to ban dropping litter in Belgium? Soon? Got you covered.
Never mind all your fancy touchscreens and popup boxes on your smartphones:
when you want every emoji, at your fingertips, literally: this is the keyboard for you.
If you want to know how it's built:
there's a much longer video coming later this week about the art of the bodge and just exactly
how this happened.
But yes. I built an emoji keyboard. It's kind of ridiculous.
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