With a murder rate of 9.1%, what is sometimes said to be
the most dangerous desk job in the world?
The answer... at the end of the show.
Welcome back to Lateral,
we are in the second round and both of our teams won their first games,
which means one of them is going straight through to the grand final.
And it's a choice between, welcome back, team Viva.
-Or... -Team Viva la Vida, yes.
Would you introduce yourselves?
Hi, I'm Simon Clark and I just finished my PhD in atmospheric physics.
I am Sally Le Page, and I am doing my PhD in evolutionary biology.
Now, it was really close in the first game, it was down to the wire.
-Yes. -Oh my God!
-Yes. -Any tactics, anything you've learned from it?
-I think if I sit on my hands… -Don't let Simon buzz, I think is our tactic.
I caused that problem, and I also kind of fixed it.
You did, you were very good, but yeah.
You are playing against team Off Peak Only.
I'm Vicki, I work in museum education, but I also make videos about trains.
I'm Geoff, hello, I make those videos about trains with Vicki,
travelling to all the stations in the country.
Now, you had about 15 or 17 seconds left on your clock at the end of the last one,
-It came down to you knowing WD40. -WD40, yeah.
There was a moment I was like, if this is wrong then I knew that we were out,
so I just went for it, and I was very relieved, yes.
Alright, well best of luck to both teams, we start as ever, with round one.
Round 1 is Deep Thought.
There are six lateral thinking questions on the buzzer,
60 seconds for each question and the earlier you buzz,
the more points you get.
I'll read out clues if you don't know it as time goes on.
But beware if you buzz in wrongly,
it will go over to the other team to see if they can get it.
-Are we all ready? -Yes.
Alright, first question goes to you.
During the Victorian era, why did hard-up home owners
occasionally climb onto their roof with several live geese?
Well, they were a bit weird.
I wonder if a goose lands on your property,
do you now own the goose?
But that implies that you're going up with the geese,
or were the geese there when they arrived?
-Oh no, I think they're going. -There's not much reason to do this today.
Something to do with geese that isn't used very much these days.
Goose fat, goose feathers.
-No, I don't... feathers. -Feathers for, like, pillows.
To block the... no, they wouldn't use live geese for that, to block the chimneys.
It was cheaper than using children.
-They shoved the geese down the chimney. -Down the chimney, yeah.
-Yes. -Did they use them as chimney sweeps?
You're absolutely right, sweep the chimney.
For two points, you are off the mark,
which means team Off Peak, next question's for you.
There are over thirty million pairs of these in the UK.
Half are black and white, the others are black and yellow.
Some are worth tens of thousands of pounds.
Even though they're stolen occasionally, they can be replaced for about £20.
-What are they? -I think it's something to do with road signs.
-Cat's eyes. -Oh, cat's eyes.
I was thinking fire hydrant signs, the H - they're black and yellow, aren't they?
-It's something transporty -Right.
and there's a sign in place.
Road signs, or a transport sign, or a street sign.
Criminals sometimes misuse these.
-Sorry? -Criminals sometimes misuse these.
-What do criminals use? -Hi-vis.
They do, rock up in a hi-vis and you can get away with anything.
No, but they wouldn't be worth tens of thousands of pounds.
These are a front and back pair.
It's clothing, it's some kind of clothing.
Oh my goodness.
It's some kind of... it's a clothing that is a disguise.
-I feel like we were closer with... -Fire hydrants.
The black parts are letters and numbers.
-I don't know. -But in...
We may as well take a guess.
It's some form of clothing.
We're running out of time, do it.
This is going to be fun.
Geoff.
Some form of clothing that's worn by a government...
a council official and the criminals are trying to pose as these people
and they're not. Yes!
30 million pairs of those in the UK(?)
No, I'm going to pass this over, if you can answer immediately for a point.
-Are they licence plates? -Yes they are.
They are vehicle licence plates.
-Why are they worth so much? -Some of are prestige licence plates.
They might just be A1 or personalised names, or something like that.
-We don't drive, we don't have a car. -Yeah, we're on trains.
-That wasn't a train question. -No, exactly.
-Can we have more train questions? -Trains are your downfall.
So that's one point to you, and the next question is yours as well.
Okay.
An artist spends most of the day sketching in a different room to her subjects.
The artist is not famous, and the picture is worthless.
Even some of the faces are wrong.
Nevertheless, the client gratefully shows the artwork to thousands of people soon after.
How so?
-For four points. -A forensic artist.
-What was that, sorry?
-Forensic artist. -Forensic. Oh!
-Should we wait for another? -No.
I'm normally the gung-ho one, you go for it.
Could you clarify what you mean by that, please?
Someone who does the kind of like the e-fit when you've got... a witness comes in,
and you've got to draw the picture of what they look like,
so you can say, "We are looking for this criminal."
That is close enough.
I have court artist on my card but you're absolutely right.
That also matches an e-fit artist so yes, I will give you the four points for that.
-Congratulations. -Nice.
Team Off Peak, let's see if we can get you on the board with this question.
A lady and a cowboy lie next to a bullet, a dime and a hook.
As a result, someone is delighted, but doesn't show it.
What are they doing?
Okay, a lady and a cowboy are next to a bullet, a dime and a hook.
Someone is delighted, but someone doesn't show it.
Is it like a song?
The hook represents a letter.
Like a pound note?
Llike what? No...
-This is the one when we lose. -Like a...
I have no idea.
What would a hook look... what...
The dime represents a number.
I literally have no idea, is it a song lyric?
-Is it like a well-known... -I think it's to do with currency.
-Okay. -No, would never have got that.
-Okay. -Like a dollar sign and a number.
-Lady and a cowboy. -I don't know why...
When would you want to hide your emotions to others?
When you're lying, bluffing, playing poker.
So it's a card thing.
It's a money thing or a card thing.
Here comes our time.
-Take a guess. -I can't just say money thing or card thing
-but it's to do with money or cards. -I need an answer.
Let's say, when you're... what are they doing?
They're playing, they're playing... they're gambling.
-I'll take that, they're playing poker, yes. -Yes!
-That's absolutely right for one point. -We got a point!
-Oh God. -We made that hard work, didn't we?
That was hard.
The lady is a queen, the cowboy is the king, the bullet's an ace,
the dime is a ten and the hook is the letter J for Jack.
Well done.
So the last two questions on the buzzers for both teams, if you're ready.
During the American Civil War,
it was common for federal troops to carry out illegal liquor trafficking
by ferrying pedlars who hid bottles of whisky about their person.
And so which word was born?
I'm thinking moonshine...
Ferrying pedlars.
It would be like smuggling, but a word pertaining to...
Hiding bottles...
The same trick wouldn't work with modern clothing.
So it's something in the cloak, a turn cloak?
-The Civil War. -Of course, they'd put it inside the coat...
-Posies... -...some kind of vehicle?
It's a slang word...
This is now a general term for smuggling or fakery.
Cloak and dagger, or something.
That's when you fake something.
I don't know.
Maybe something, it doesn't have to be a cloak, what else was worn then that isn't worn now?
The bottles were hidden in their footwear.
Bootlegging.
-Yes! -Yay!
For one point, you're absolutely right.
Dude!
Sorry, I got very excited.
One point to team Off Peak.
-Last question in this round. -Wow!
The extent of the UK's territorial waters until 1968 and the land boundaries of the Gambia,
which are on the screen in front of you,
were originally decided by what practical distance?
It's obviously related to the river,
like the distance you can walk in a day from the water?
-Where's Gambia? -This could be something like
the distance that a horse could travel without eating or having water or something.
Africa specifically.
The Gambia border follows a river.
That we could swim or something.
-How far from… -Watershed?
It could be the watershed, it's the area that they drink in.
What are those straight lines?
Ships sail down that river.
How far you could see a ship from the river...
-For two points. -How far could you see a ship from the river?
No, it's not what I've got.
So the rest of the question goes over to team Off Peak.
It's just how far you could get...
because if the river gets narrower, narrower and narrower,
then you can't actually get a ship down there.
The ship is going to obviously deal with supplies, so it...
What markers could ships use?
What markers could ships...
-I'm going to say buoys, but... -I'm going to say some kind of flags.
So it's the distance that you can see like a semaphore signal or the flags they've got...
Go for it.
-I don't know how to put that into words. -Just say those words in that order.
Something to do with how far you could see a signal from a ship,
like a flagged semaphore signal.
I can't give you it.
It's the distance that you could fire a cannon ball.
-Ah! -Oh!
-I was in the right ball. -You were in the right ballpark.
You were both in the right ballpark, but not quite there.
Which means at the end of round one,
Team Viva you're on seven points, Team Off Peak you're on two.
-Well, it's not zero. -It's not zero, yeah.
Round two is Second Thought.
Teams you're going to have the board of 12 clues in front of you.
Pick them one at a time, if you can guess what all those clues are pointing to,
even the ones you haven't seen yet, then you'll get more points the earlier you get it right.
It's got to be exactly what I have on my card.
Team Viva, you are going first, on the first board.
-Pick a number. -Six.
-Pick a number. -Number one, please.
Number one.
Given away in shops.
Plastic bags, I think it could be literally anything.
Vouchers.
Vouchers, no, it's not so team Off Peak, pick a number.
-Number eight, please. -Number eight.
Wrinkle ridder.
Steady.
You give away like little testers and things in shops.
A testing pot, a test pot.
No. No, it's not, so pick a number.
-Number ten. -Number ten.
Found in cupboards.
Wrinkle ridder... iron?
-No. Iron? -I need an answer.
Iron.
Iron is not what I've got, so pick a number.
-Eleven. -Number eleven.
Triangular.
-You look stumped, I'm going to pass it over? -Yes, yeah, yeah.
No? Okay, pick a number.
-Number two, please. -Number two.
-Could open a locked car. -Coat hanger.
Is correct, yes that's absolutely right for three points.
Oh!
Yeah, given away in shops.
I was like, what are you doing, with your face, with wrinkles?
How you got that on the kleptomania there, that was good.
No, wrinkle ridder, it removes wrinkles in clothes when you hang it up.
-It has nothing to do with your face. -What's Mommie Dearest?
It's a plot point from a film called Mommie Dearest.
Team Off Peak, first pick on the next board is yours.
-Three. -Number three.
Could contain blood, for five points.
Good luck.
-A human. -I was going to say...
I'm taking that as an answer, it's not what I've got on the card.
-Number two, please. -Number two.
Has a manager.
Organised vampire.
No, a manager...
An organised vampire?
I heard you say those words, Simon, but thought "they're not going to go with that".
-They are going to go with that! -Was it right?
-It's not right. It's not right. -Really?
No.
Team Off Peak?
Monopoly player, for four points.
So you've got the dog, the hat, the bank...
Bank, oh...Bank.
-Is absolutely right. -Yes!
You can have a blood bank, you have a bank manager,
and a player in monopoly, not the token, is the bank.
Yeah.
You can see the rest of the ones there.
Uses red as a warning, I love as a clue there.
It's very specific.
-Congratulations, that is four points to you. -Cool.
Team Viva, your choice.
Number twelve, please. Number twelve.
Often in paintings.
Bums.
-Have you seen the Renaissance? -Let me just check the card.
God, I feel this goes...
I don't want to mock you for taking a guess, though, it's a perfectly valid guess.
-Team Off Peak. -Can we go for five?
Number five.
Mare's tails.
You could make paintbrushes out of horse's hair.
-Is it painkillers? Every four hours. -I need an answer.
-Mares, so hair.
No, it's not what I've got, I'm afraid.
-Number four, please. -Number four.
Data store.
-A hard drive, memory stick. -What are the...
-Cloud? -Cloud.
-Is correct. -Nice!
For four points, very well done.
Yeah, you can have a cloud data store, they're often in paintings
and mare's tails are a type of cloud.
Bums are also hard to see through, to be fair.
Mackerel clouds are autocumulus where you've got little red bits on them,
but definitely not bums, that's pretty clear.
Last question in this round, Team Off Peak, pick a number.
-Number four, please. -Number four.
Can cause bleeding.
-A knife? -Yes.
A knife.
It can, it's not going to match everything else that's there.
-Team Viva. -Number nine, please.
Number nine.
Wrapped in silver.
What do you store in silver?
-A film. -I need an answer, please.
-Bullets. -Bullets is not what I've got,
so over here, pick a number.
-Twelve. -Twelve.
Every four hours.
Mercury.
Mercury is not what I've got, so Team Viva.
-Number one. -Number one.
Anti-inflammatory.
Oh!
No. Aspirin.
Medication?
-Ibuprofen. -No. So I'm going to hand that over.
Number six.
It kills something.
-Medication, antibiotic... -Go with another drug that's no ibuprofen.
Antibiotics.
No, not what I've got, so passing it back.
-Number seven. -Number seven.
Bayer.
I'm still thinking aspirin.
-Medication. -No, not what I've got on the card.
So, pick a number.
-Eleven. -Number eleven.
Not for children.
Penicillin.
No. I'm going to pass this back over for two points.
-Number two, please. -Number two.
White.
Err...
Cocaine.
-It's not for children. -A very heavy user.
Every four hours, that is...
-I take it that wasn't correct then. -It's not correct.
Going to pass that back to team Off Peak.
-Number 5. -Number 5.
Avoided by pregnant women.
It's some kind of drug, we just have to get the right one.
I think you can take aspirin when you're pregnant.
So it's something you can't take when you're pregnant.
I need an answer.
Name another drug that's not ibuprofen.
Paracetamol.
Is not what I've got, so for one point, pick a number.
-Number eight. -Number eight.
Acid.
Did we say aspirin?
I don't think so.
-I mean, at this point. I think it's... -Aspirin?
-Yes! -Yay!
-Did we not...? -You said it on four points,
but never actually made it your answer.
You tried paracetamol, you tried ibuprofen, you tried cocaine at one point.
But no, it was actually aspirin, you were right really, really early on, Sally.
But sadly, that is just for one point,
which means going into the final round, the scores are 15:6.
You are going in with a nine point advantage.
That's what we had last time, but against us.
The final round is Quick Thought.
Now, teams you're both going to start with 90 seconds of thinking time, as before.
But because you have a nine point advantage,
we're going to give you five seconds extra for each of those points.
You're going to start with 2:15 on your clock, team Off Peak, 1:30,
and I'm afraid your clock is going to start counting down first.
-Okay. -Buzz when you think you know the answer.
If you're right, your opponent's clock will start.
If you're wrong, you'll lose ten seconds and your clock will keep going.
-Okay. -Are you ready?
No.
-Yes. -Oh my God!
-Yes. -And I'll be honest,
it's just a courtesy to ask at this point, we're going to start anyway.
Which cake has been defined by Chambers Dictionary as
'long in shape, but short in duration'?
Swiss Roll.
No, it's an éclair.
-Ten seconds away. -Sorry.
We start again with one minute and 12.
Which world leader who died in 2011,
had 112 different recognised spellings of his name?
It'd be someone from Africa, presumably, a lot of dialects down there.
The name doesn't transliterate into Latin letters easily.
Somebody Russian?
No. No, the North Korean dude.
-No, they use Latin alphabet. -The name was often written in Arabic.
-So somebody from the Arab world. -I'm literally... shall we do a pass?
-Pass, yeah, go on. -Pass.
You might as well take a guess.
-No? -I can't think of any Arabic...
It was Colonel Gadaffi.
So I'm afraid that's ten seconds away again, 34.8 on the clock.
What gaming die contains the numbers two and four,
but not the numbers one, three, five and six?
I have no idea.
If you're going to pass, you need to do it quickly; the other four...
Pass. What? No idea.
-It's a backgammon doubling die. -Wow!
Okay. 14.7 on the clock.
They're going to win without doing anything.
I will say, it can be done.
Which 1995 comedy drama film had to change its lead actor 45 times?
45 times?
-Comedy drama film, '95. -No idea.
Miriam Margolyes provided the voice of a dog called Fly.
Name some…
Name any movie from the 90s.
I don't know, Geoff.
Look Who's Talking.
Babe.
-They had to change the piglet 45 times. -I forgot the 90s.
And I do not have recorded on my card what happened to the other 44 piglets.
Commiserations, that was, I'm afraid, a complete lockout.
-Not a single question faced there. -Well done, well done.
Team Viva, congratulations, you are through to the grand final.
Oh my gosh, that's quite cool.
Team Off Peak, commiserations, but that's your first loss.
You are not out of the tournament yet.
You are going to be in the playoff near the end, so we will see you again.
Okay.
But you are going to be fighting for survival then.
So very best of luck to you.
Commiserations this time.
Congratulations to you.
We'll see you next time on Lateral.
I can't think of anything to say, so I'm just going to say…
blurble, blurble, blah, blah, blablablafa.