In England, if you want to sell alcohol to the public,
you need a licence.
You can't just set up a bar or a pub anywhere.
And the law about that is set down in the Licensing Act 2003.
There are a lot of details in there, including some exceptions.
For example, section 173 makes it clear that as long as you're "on a journey",
you do not need a licence to sell alcohol aboard a train, a plane...
..or a hovercraft.
Anybody can go fast,
but when you come to the first corner, that's when you're gonna get ejected.
It's like drifting cars. It's all about steering, a hovercraft.
Not about going fast, it's learning how to steer them.
The thing is with hovercraft: if you're looking at it, you're likely to hit it!
In a hovercraft, to fly them, you do lean with them,​
which makes the craft pitch and makes it turn.​​
So, if you're serving out the back of one, and you lean to give it to someone,
might cause some interesting... control of the hovercraft,
but it's all part of the fun(!)
Yeah, you'll be fine in the back of there.​
We'll just keep it straight as we can and serve your customers.
And you might think: "Tom, you're just doing this for show, aren't you?
"You're not actually selling alcohol to people?" Wrong!
This is a real beer pump. There is real beer being fed into it.
And this is a working contactless card reader.
It is connected to a company bank account. It is absolutely taking payments.
Right. Let's do this.
I did try to do my piece to camera on the hovercraft.​​
You couldn't hear a thing.
So I'm gonna explain in voiceover how this all worked,​​
in between the bits where I have to shout at people.
Full disclosure: there are only trusted friends buying alcohol today,
both for safety, and because while the selling alcohol part does appear to be legal,
I'm pretty sure there are several other Trading Standards laws
that I'm only vaguely following.
Don't take this as legal advice.
But yes, the contactless card reader really did work.​ ​
And yes, that is a terrible half pint of beer. There was a sparkler along the tap,
and the whole thing had been jostled and vibrated by the hovercraft.
Yeah, that should've been the first clue that I misheard him.
£1.50 was not the price of a gin and tonic. It was the price of a half pint.
Another terrible half pint that's mostly foam.​ ​
So as Marc the pilot tried desperately to counterbalance me...
I genuinely don't know if he was expecting me to take that glass back somehow, but...
Yeah, we picked that up later. Most of the foam from it got pulled onto me.
Oh, and watch the plastic glass between my knees there.
Yeah, we picked that up later too.​
Note that I'm using a thimble measure for the gin there.​​
Free pour of spirits for drinks like that isn't legal in the UK.​
You're fine if it's a complicated cocktail, but for something simple like gin and tonic,
legally, you have to measure it out.
And remember, we've got to keep moving, at least slightly.​​
The exemption only works if the hovercraft is "on a journey"...
even if that journey is back and forth across a hovercraft racetrack.
I did not bring a change of clothes.​​
I drove home smelling faintly of gin and tonic.​​
Yeah, the hover martini was just gin and vodka on ice.​
And some grass that got kicked up by the hovercraft's fans.
I am not a good bartender.
And I am amazed by how good Marc the pilot was at flying the hovercraft in a strong wind.
He's a hovercraft racer, along with Rob who helped set all this up.
And this is a track that is all curves and no straightaways.​
There... yeah, there was a lot of grass in it.​
So, the big question: Why does this law exist?
Why is there this ridiculous exemption?
Alcohol licences are granted by local authorities in England,
and trains and planes travel through the whole country.​​
It's meant to cover selling alcohol to passengers.
And while these days, there's only one hovercraft service, and it takes ten minutes,
we used to have massive hovercraft that'd cross the Channel to France.
The law hasn't been updated, because it doesn't need to be.
After all...
Who's gonna be ridiculous enough to sell alcohol from a moving hovercraft?
Caption+ by JS* [https://caption.plus]​